Bring Back the Organic Vagina

Sep 17, 2018 | All, Lets Get Natural, Our Women | 1 comment

I know. Right now you’re asking, what on God’s green earth is an organic vagina? Is it the new vegan trend of ditching your silicon rabbit in favour of lubing up an organic cucumber with coconut oil? No, fear not, I would never ask you to throw away your favourite vibrator (and I’m sure there’s nothing I could say to convince you to do so anyway). But you’d be right to question what an organic vagina is because it seems like this is a notion we abandoned sometime in the 80s. It’s a concept so foreign that when I watched Alien with my housemate last year, we spent a full minute examining Ripley’s knickers trying to figure out whether or not she had a bulge before coming to the realisation that was really what an organic bush looked like (with knickers on of course).

These days we’re told to wax this, bleach that and snip off that funny looking extra flap. As well as buying organic cucumbers, it’s time to get our vaginas on board with the organic train and see them in all their hairy, frilly glory.

I will not pretend that I have always been a paragon of pubic-hair positivity. Despite being a virgin, when I was sixteen or so, I waxed my vagina religiously in the hope that through karmic return I might finally have sex. I waxed because I was led to believe that all boys found body hair abhorrent, having been shamed by a boy who said I was gross because I had hairy knees once. This was only reinforced when I watched The Sex Education Show and several girls told stories in which, on discovering their pubes, boys either told them to go shave and come back or rejected them entirely. Of course it is natural to have preferences, but totally unnecessary to enforce these on others. Back then, I was of an impressionable age where the media and my experiences had a profound effect on me. They played a large part in the shaping of my pubescent identity and it was only when I got older that I realised that I didn’t have to adopt all the values I was exposed to. The sanitisation of genitals has culminated to the point where seeing the organic, the natural, on programmes such as Naked Attraction is now abnormal and most contestants with a bush (despite having a peachy ass or great legs) are sent home, purely because of their pubic hair. And this is a phenomenon which isn’t restricted to vaginas: many a lovely penis has been sent swinging home simply because of a bit of hair which our society has relegated to the category of practically sinful.

I stopped waxing, ironically, when I started having sex and realised that any arse that would reject me based on a little bit of hair wasn’t worth the pain of all that meticulous plucking and the subsequent days I would spend feeling like a plucked, raw turkey before Christmas, ready for stuffing.

Even though the painstaking process of removing all hair from your nether-regions is deemed cleaner by most, in reality, due to the vaginal lips sticking together and chafing, you’re more at risk of rashes and infections such as bacterial vaginosis (BV) and UTIs. With razor burns and re-growth itching, I’m unconvinced this faux sense of cleanliness is worth it. Ultimately, your pubic hair has a function: think of it as the white picket fence to your lady garden, defending you from unwanted bacteria.

The sanitisation of vaginas has become more and more extreme in recent years. There has been a huge rise in labiaplasty globally; one porn star’s unwanted vaginal lip is sitting in a museum in America. In the UK, 200 girls under the age of 18 went under the knife in order to ‘neaten’ their vaginas in 2015-16, and of those 150 were under 15. The most common designer vagina people choose is ‘The Barbie’, which is shocking really, considering Barbie doesn’t even have genitals.

Kate Nesbit

Kate Nesbit

Guest Writer

Kate is a recent graduate, recovering from three years of university. She has been fighting for women's rights ever since she was 6 and she told a boy to go stick his head up a dead bear's bum when he said she was putting on too much lip balm. When she's not in a charity shop, she can be found scaring people at her day job by telling them she's writing about period sex. You can find more of her writing here.

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